Here are 40 kindness questions to ask your kids at the dinner table. They’re made for ages 3 to 8. Print them, cut them apart, and pull one from a jar each night.
- About your day (10)
- About feelings (8)
- About friends (8)
- What would you do? (8)
- About our family (6)
Every parent has asked “How was your day?” and gotten “Fine.”
A better question gets a better answer. “Who was kind to you today?” makes a child stop and think about a real person and a real moment. And once they’re talking, you hear things you never would have heard otherwise.
So here are 40 questions about kindness, feelings and friends. You don’t need all of them. One a night is enough.
How to use them
Print the two pages and cut the questions apart on the dotted lines. Fold them and drop them in a jar on the table. Each night, one person pulls a question and everybody answers it, grown-ups too.
Two things help. Answer the question yourself, so your child hears how you think about it. And let their answer stand, even when it isn’t the one you hoped for. If dinner turns into a lesson, the jar stops being fun.
About your day
- Who was kind to you today?
- Who were you kind to today?
- What made you smile today?
- Did you see anyone who needed a friend today?
- Who did you sit with at lunch?
- What is one thing you shared today?
- Did anyone help you today? How?
- Did you help anyone today? How?
- What was the best part of your day?
- Was any part of today hard?
About feelings
- How does it feel when someone is kind to you?
- How does it feel when someone leaves you out?
- What does your body feel like when you’re mad?
- What helps you calm down when you’re upset?
- When was a time you felt brave?
- What is something that made you feel proud?
- How can you tell when a friend is sad?
- What do you wish people knew about you?
About friends
- What makes someone a good friend?
- Who is someone new you could play with?
- What do you like best about your best friend?
- Has a friend ever hurt your feelings? What happened next?
- How do you say sorry so someone knows you mean it?
- What is something kind you could do for a friend tomorrow?
- Is there someone at school who plays alone a lot?
- What games are more fun with more people?
What would you do?
- What would you do if you saw someone sitting alone?
- What would you do if someone was being teased?
- What would you do if a friend told you to be mean to somebody?
- What would you do if someone splashed you on purpose?
- What would you do if you broke something that wasn’t yours?
- What would you do if a new kid came to your class?
- What would you do if you found something that belonged to someone else?
- What would you do if someone said sorry to you?
Number 30 comes straight from The Grumble-Gator’s Greatest Raft. Barnaby splashes Toby right off his lily pad, and Toby has to decide what to do next. Read the book first and that question gets a lot more interesting.
About our family
- What is one kind thing someone in our family did this week?
- Who in our family needs a little extra kindness right now?
- What is something we could do for a neighbor?
- What are you thankful for today?
- Who could we call or visit this week?
- What is one kind thing we can all do tomorrow?
Book 1
The Grumble-Gator’s Greatest Raft
A gentle turtle, a grumpy gator, and the kind word that turns a bully into a friend. Ages 3–8.
Amazon: fastest shipping. Or buy direct from the author (ships in 2–3 weeks).
New · Book 2
The Grumble-Gator’s Bravest Choice
Barnaby was picked on too, once. The brave choice that stops the hurt from being passed on. Ages 3–8.
Amazon: fastest shipping. Or buy direct from the author (ships in 2–3 weeks).
Questions parents ask about the question jar
What are good kindness questions for a 4-year-old?
Keep them short and about today: Who was kind to you today? What made you smile? Who did you share with? Young children answer best when the question is about something that just happened.
How do you start a conversation about kindness with kids?
Ask about a real moment instead of a rule. ’Who needed a friend today?’ gets a child talking about what they saw, and that opens the door to talking about what they could do.
How often should we use the question jar?
One question a night at dinner or bedtime is enough. It takes a few minutes, and 40 questions will last you more than a month.
Are the kindness questions free to print?
Yes. It’s a two-page PDF with 40 questions to cut apart. It’s free, and you don’t have to sign up for anything.
One last thought
You’ll hear things from the jar that you would never hear from “How was your day?” Some will make you laugh, and some will tell you who needs a little extra kindness this week.
Pull the first question tonight.
Cory